But one more thing! Just one, honest!

When I got to Fenway Friday, I assumed (correctly) that smoking would not be allowed. Now, I love my smokes, and that's hard for me, but worth it in this instance. I also assumed, incorrectly, that I would be able to find a place to smoke when I wasn't in the stands- you know, like near the bathroom or something. I was even willing to step outside the ballpark if need be. Once we got settled, I decided to find out what my options were. I asked the nearest usher guy, and he promptly informed me that not only can you not smoke in the park, re-entry is not allowed. Not. Allowed. That isn't cool but I am a seasoned smoker. There is really no such thing as "no smoking". There's always a place and a way and I figured I'd be able to find it as I have in so many other "no smoking" instances.

Alas and alack n shit. I did what would normally work: I asked employees- the pizza stand cashier and the bathroom attendant.* Nada. I sucked it up as long as I could. I ate my pizza slowly. I sipped at my beer. I even got popcorn and picked at that for most of the game but as any smoker knows, at some point none of that is going to be enough. Finally I went into a bathroom stall, took a couple of hard hits and exhaled toward the flushing toilet (as if that really helps, but I was paranoid!).

Fast forward to now, and I stumble upon the above gem on the internets. Click on the image if you can't read the fine print. Note that Fenway Park is in PINK. There ARE ways to sneak cigarettes! More research is necessary to make sure my next Fenway experience isn't marred by extreme jonesing alternating with fear of getting kicked out of the park.

*The bathroom attendant just gave me a Mona Lisa smile and shook her head "no" slowly, no matter how I begged. I KNOW that bitch had the answer and wouldn't tell me. I should have slipped her some money. Bet that woulda opened her mouth.

PS: That site also says, "Thanks to Adam Westlund who pointed out that smoking is possible outside the ballpark on Yawkey Way. " For the record, Yawkey Way IS outside the park. Again, no re-entry, so that is not a viable option. Thanks a fat lot, Adam Westlund.

PSS: When we left the park, I gave a bum three smokes- the three that I wasn't able to smoke while I was in there. Hope he enjoyed them as much as I would have.

Okay, I will stop about the Red Sox now

One last pic- we had right field seats near the bullpen. That was also cool. All of it was cool. I wanna go again!

POST MUTHA EFFIN' SCRIPT/ NEWSFLASH-

BOSTON — It had been 75 years since the Boston Red Sox allowed as many hits to the Yankees as they did on Friday night...

Click HERE for the rest. Yeah, NYT- all the news that's fit to print. FIT.

Guess who else was there?

Special thanks to my mister's mom who found this- the squirrelizer.

Fans

This poor little boy. He is only just learning what it really means to be a Sox fan. He'll mature and get slightly numbed to the pain, but it will never really stop hurting.

This guy is truly a member of the faithful. He never stopped cheering them on, no matter how bad it got. He never gave up. He should give that little boy a big talk. Also, he yelled, "QUITTERS!!!" at a bunch of people who bailed early and let them know in no uncertain terms that it would be THEIR fault if the Sox lost. (And he's right. It was their fault. Shame on them. Freakin' heathens).

I asked this lovely couple if I could take their picture before the game started- and before they broke up.

And this devotee hailed all the way from Nashville, Tennessee. He made the pilgrimage in spite of not understanding the T.

Oh and one more thing...

I will be there tomorrow night singly badly with the rest of The Nation. Also...

GO SOX!!!!

PS:

Another mystery of the Diamond, explained at last

By Stephanie Vosk, Globe Correspondent | May 29, 2005

The lyrics have nothing to do with baseball.

The composer has no connection to the Red Sox.

The song hit the charts more than 30 years ago.

So why does ''Sweet Caroline" pump from the speakers at Fenway Park in the middle of the eighth inning of every single Red Sox game?

Like all the Sox fans questioned at one of this month's rare sunny home games, Paul Sundeen has no idea. And he attends 10 to 15 games a season.

''It's just one of those things," says Sundeen, 24, of West Roxbury. ''Everybody seems to sing it."

''Maybe one of the player's wives is Caroline," offers Michael McCarthy, 25, a Back Bay resident.

''I think it was all Pedro Martinez's fault," says Marc Schwalb, 32, of Revere, shaking his arms to imitate the way the former Red Sox ace would dance for the crowd when the song was played.

Schwalb says he makes a point to sing along, despite the fact he finds ''Caroline" ''one of the worst songs ever written."

Dennis Doherty, 28, of Hyde Park, also disses the song.

'' 'Sweet Caroline' has nothing to do with Boston," Doherty says. ''I think they should end it; I don't like it."

As April McGann, 30, a FleetCenter employee from Randolph, explains the song has ''something to do with the Red Sox," her friend jumps in with a more detailed answer.

''Boston's supposed to be 'Sweet Caroline,' " says Mairead Finn, 30, of Weymouth, with the voice of authority.

As the question spreads among nearby fans, Lauren Manforde, 21, of Naugatuck, Conn., jumps in, voicing frustration.

''Nobody knows," she says, ''I've been trying to find out for years."

Even Sherrie Levy, press agent for songwriter and singer Neil Diamond, has no clue.

''I'm not sure how it started, but we're very pleased that it happened," Levy says.

Diamond is on tour and not available to comment on the question, according to Levy.

Scheduled to perform at the FleetCenter Aug. 15, Diamond has been asked by the Red Sox to sing at their Aug. 14 home game against the Chicago White Sox. It is not yet known whether he will, Levy says.

Amy Tobey knows the answer to the ''Sweet Caroline" question.

Tobey began working for the Red Sox through her job at BCN Productions, a film and video communications company, having interned for the Boston Bruins.

Her assignment was to decide what music would be played at the park from 1998 to 2004.

She had noticed ''Sweet Caroline" was used at other sporting events, and she decided to send the sweetness over the Fenway speakers.

The song was picked up by fans, and the more it caught on, the more superstitious Tobey became about playing it.

Tobey would play the song somewhere between the seventh and ninth innings if the team was ahead, depending on whether she felt the team was going to win.

She didn't go by any specific margin of runs, but rather who the opponent was, and her gut instincts.

''I actually considered it like a good luck charm," Tobey says. ''Even if they were just one run [ahead], I might still do it. It was just a feel."

In 2002, when new management took over at the park, they requested that Tobey play the song during the eighth inning of every game.

''They liked it and they just loved the crowd reaction with it and stuff," she says.

Though Tobey says she was nervous the change would be bad luck for the team, its appeal to fans ultimately ruled.

And under the song's spell, the Red Sox last season won their first World Series in 86 years.

It was even included in the recent film ''Fever Pitch," starring Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore, that appropriates scenes from 2004's winning season.

To Lauren Rochon, 23, of Quincy, ''Caroline," is the ''epitome of Boston."

''It's just in every bar you go to, it's one of those songs," Rochon says. ''It's Boston's theme song."

''It's just a catchy tune, the words are easy . . . it gets the whole field in one rhythm," says Jackie Davidson, 52, a Taunton resident, standing outside the park on Patriots Day.

''You don't sing 'Sweet Caroline' . . . you didn't go to a game."

© Copyright 2006 Globe Newspaper Company.

Twice in my lifetime- 2004 and 2007

I waited 35 years for the first one. Some waited an entire lifetime and never got to see it. Could I be so lucky as to see it three times?! Tomorrow, baby.