Waiting to Mow

Not my mower, this is something Russian.

Mow the lawn today, good idea.  Oh wait, first I should get my phone so I can listen to stories while I mow.  (Time traveler pro-tip: Something kids today don't understand that kids in our day wouldn't have understood.)

Oh, I need new episodes, oh crap a bunch of old ones are on the phone, I'll just quick sync to iTunes so I can see which ones I've listened to, oh god, twenty minute backup, hmm might as well download these app updates too, oh look a horror podcast, that will get me through a whole mow.  Click click click.

Yay downloads finally done, sync again to push new podcasts to device, oh crap what are these warnings, new app updates not compatible with old phone operating system, /pathetic rage face/, but the new iOS will slow my old phone, Googling latest update, no it looks like they might have fixed it, okay, let's go ahead and install it, I need time to finish this blog entry anyway.

This is progress?  My lawn still ain't mowed!  Twenty three more minutes? Oh well, I guess I'll look at pictures of funny cats on the internet.  I miss being in control of my own media.  I used to drag and drop my stuff back and forth, and that was it.  I never asked anyone to take the file system away.

Freaks & Geeks

Some explanation? New media technologies are usually adopted by the porno industry first, then the video gamers, and then if they pass both those acid tests, they trickle down to you and me the average consumers. Example: The video rental industry. All those early adopters who bought the first tank-like VCR's weren't watching Steve Martin's The Jerk on them. Something was being jerked, though. Another example: Hardcore gamers pushing their system hardware to the limit for an extra 10 frames per second of fragging accuracy. They constantly tinker with software and hardware until they can run their graphics fast & real. A couple months later, that hardware is fully debugged and on the shelf for cheap.

So yeah. First the Freaks, then the Geeks, then you and me. It's Ink's Technology Trickle Down Theory.

I didn't solve Britney, but I invented the iPhone.

Now Apple can send me a cease & desist. To be fair, my iNKphone is not like an iPhone because it encompasses your entire online presence in a simple dashboard interface, including voice, email, web, chat, blog, text, mood, contact management, terrestrial and satellite radio & video, mp3, dvr, rss feeds, unlimited storage, real time weather, gps with mapping, etc. It is all things to all people. And nobody on the Today Show already said it. So far as I know.