Breyers Update

Ok, I just called them and harassed a very nice customer service representative. Everything was going fine until she said that the tara gum has been in the product for almost two years. She had me there. I didn't catch on early enough to the gum injection, and so my consumer leverage was greatly reduced.

I did score points with my bird crap analogy. (It's natural, but you wouldn't put it in the ice cream.) All Natural is a pretty meaningless descriptor. What does it mean? From the Earth? Not imaginary? Who the heck knows.

Nevertheless, we are getting a coupon in the mail for some free ice cream. I expect we'll get a letter like this guy:

Ice Cream Rage!!!

I sent this off to the Unilever people today. Sections are repeats from an earlier post, but I'm not sure if they read the blog, so I had to include it.
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Dear Unilever,

Well, I see that you are now including tara gum in your ice cream. I used to buy Breyers because it was composed of all natural ingredients. Now I won't be buying your ice cream anymore.

Breyers used to have a wonderful light and crumbly texture that melted on your tongue like weightless deliciousness. Now it feels like some kind of petrochemical goo, or possibly cold shampoo.

Don't give me any guff about tara gum being "natural". Yeah, it comes from the Earth, but it's NOT NATURAL to put it in ice cream. Bird crap is also all natural, but you don't put THAT in your ice cream do you?

I mean seriously, did your grandmother's ice cream recipe call for "gum" of any kind? I think not, and I rest my case. Here's a real ice cream recipe, since you seem to have forgotten how to make proper ice cream:


* eggs
* sugar
* salt
* vanilla extract
* cream
* milk
* chipped ice
* rock salt

And that's all.



Seriously, I am so pissed off at you guys right now. You had the one good real traditional ice cream on the market, and you ruined it.