Tuesday, February 5, 2008


I'm getting feces from various quarters for not blogging today. (Gotta wonder what ads the word "feces" will generate.) So...........um. I went to Aldi's today. I bought foods. I tried to go ice skating but I went to the rink at the wrong time. I tried thrift shops but none of the new ones are as thrifty as Rue 21 where I recently purchased monkey undapants. Now do you see why I didn't blog? Do I want my readers to be as bored as I was today? I trow not. (I wonder if we'll get ads for trows now, assuming I spelled that right.)

Oh! I made a chicken though! It was my first time making a WHOLE chicken EVER. Not exciting to you, maybe, but exciting to me cuz you know, it was the first time. Feel free to put your very own "first time" stories in comments. But really, my mister helped me though he doesn't want to take credit. See, the chicken was thawed and it needed to get cooked. So I wanted to try. I took it out of the fridge. It was thawing in a big RubbermaidTeeEmm bowl. I cut the wrapper off. It was dripping with juices and blood- the wrapper, I mean. So I dropped it in the sink and read the directions from afar. It said I had to pull out the bag of grossness. I did that. It was gross. I didn't look inside. Then I looked in the hole at the other end of the chicken. I seriously thought it was the butt hole. I seriously have never handled a whole chicken to this extent before. So I look in the hole, and there's a NECK. WHY WHY would they stuff the chicken's neck up its own butt hole? Indignity and whatnot. Mind you, in between each and every one of these individual steps, I left. I went away from the chicken and did stuff like pour wine (fortification) and fold laundry and light candles and whatnot. I was that weirded out. And you know, I took college biology. That was great fun. But if meat doesn't smell like formalin and I don't have plans to eat it, that's just different. I never once thought of sheep brain or fetal pigs as dinner fodder. At any rate, my mister pulled into the driveway on his white horse-car and helped me get the beast into the oven. He had to explain that it really was the head hole that the neck was in. Anyway, it was good. With biscuits. The end of my non-blogging day. I'll be here all week- with leftover chicken. Thank you and good night.

No comments: