Saddest Picture Ever.

The "aisle" I walked down is almost all grown back.  Guess I'll go sit with Keanu.

Mornin'

Everyone bitched because we didn't show enough face in the wedding pictures on here.  Here's actual footage instead. 

Ah, Raging Bitch

I'd rather drink a Raging Bitch than be one.  Today was full of the mild suck.  See, I am in the process of changing my last name to my married name.  I want to officially be my Mister's Mrs.  I'm old-fangled like that.

My first mistake was going to DMV on the day after a holiday weekend.  The joint was jumpin'.  Fortunately, there was free entertainment.  No, I do not mean the wall mounted TV that didn't work right.  I mean this one lady and her mother.  The mom looked to be in her late 70s.  The daughter I'm guessing mid-50s though she looked older due to missing bottom teeth and stress.  They looked more like sisters.  See, the mom was clearly in the early stages of Alzheimer's and driving the daughter crazy.  The daughter was constantly having to wrangle her mother back onto the bench to wait for them to call her number.  Sometimes the mom would randomly get back in line.  This would result in the daughter yelling, "MA!  MAAA!  YOU ALREADY WAITED IN LINE!  YOU GOTTA COME SIT BACK DOWN!"  Then she'd bitch about her mom to anyone who'd listen- in a very loud voice.  At one point, the mom loudly declared, "You're being a bitch and I don't have to listen to this!" and stormed out, leaving the daughter worried that she'd be left without a ride home.  Mom might not be all there, but she knows when she's being dissed in public- go mom!

Now, let's think this through.  Why the fuck is the mom even allowed to drive??? I do not know and frankly, it frightens me.  Why does the DMV allow it and even more curious, why does the daughter enable it?  Does she not have her own car?  Another odd tidbit:  They were dressed almost identically in denim capris, striped shirts and flip-flops.  Also, at one point when the daughter had to go outside yet again to fetch the mom, someone said, "I don't know who's crazier- the daughter or the mom." 

Shortly after that I made my escape but not before learning that I should have brought the title to my car as well to get my name changed on that.  Yay, a return trip.  Maybe next time I'll bring the camera.  

After that, I went to my credit union to change all my money stuff.  The lady did not give me free candy which isn't cool.  Last time I had to sit down with a rep I got lots of candy.  Bah.  Still have to change car insurance info.  Two more credit cards.  Did voter registration and Social Security already.  Did I forget anything? 

It was nice out today and I should have saved this shit for a rainy day but now I'm home.  Better, see?

Ahhh!

Ticked Off Redux

K, so this is still one of my favorite wedding presents.  Know why?  This morning I woke to a fucking tick on my arm.  My mister went right downstairs for the Ticked Off thingy and removed it for me and it didn't even hurt!  Gross, but most awesome.  *Swoon*  I love married life.  I'll have to save him next time he gets one.  Then we'll be just like chimps.

And the Bride Wore Bananas!

Sick of all the wedding stuff yet?  Good, me neither.  I mean, we only gave ourselves five weeks to plan it and pull it off, so I didn't get a whole year of annoying people with, "My Wedding this and My Wedding that..."  Like I said, we don't do things in order around here.  Anyway, yesterday was our Two Week Anniversary.  We celebrated with a pizza dinner followed by a bottle of champagne leftover from the wedding.

Also, I never did quite understand this whole wedding gown custom.  Typically, you spend a ton of money on it, then a ton more to get it altered, then still more to have it professionally cleaned and preserved.  And then what?  You store it forever because more likely than not, you'll never wear it again and if you have a daughter, she probably won't want to use it like they did in the old days.

Fuck that shit.  On Saturday I wore it all evening at home.  AND I got to wear this kick ass garter that Karen of Brainure fame made for me, along with matching earrings.  I cannot tell you how much it meant to me that someone I've never even met in person took the time to make me something with her own two hands.  You can barely see in the picture, but there are pewter-looking (classy!) bananas on the garter.  Ditto on the badass dangly earrings.  BANANAS!  That is some custom shit.

Oh.  There are two more customs I am not into.  One is throwing the garter.  There was no way in hell I was gonna NOT keep this one.  The other is throwing the bouquet.  Nope, none of that.  Mine.  Throwaway bouquet?  Nah.  I think most if not all of the women at the wedding were already two-up anyway.  You want flowers, come visit in July and I will bouquet bomb you.

PS:  Told ya I destroyed that hem (see pic).

PSS:  Thank you again, Karen!  No snail thank you card yet because we are slower than the USPS.

This is Not Where I Got My Dress

Howzat for some one-stop shopping?  I reckon they need a Justice of the Peace for a complete experience, no?

The Money Shot

Y'all know we don't show our faces on here, so this is as close as you'll get to a real shot of me in the dress.  I love this dress.  It's circa late 50s or very early sixties and I found it at a little boutique downtown.  Made me full on feel like a princess!

PS:  Now it's pretty much trashed because the ground was still saturated/ muddy.  It'll have to get shortened a bit cuz no way is that hem coming clean.  It was worth every minute.

Did I mention...

My Monster walked me down the aisle.  I fancied up his leash for the occasion and he steeled my nerves.  Here he is sitting for the ceremony with his uncle.  The adoring look is because said uncle had a handful of treats to help him behave.

Official!

Look what we got in the mail on Friday!  Now I can start the official process of changing my name on all my stuff.  I am proud to take my husband's name (see that- I said, "my husband"), but I am not looking forward to the circlejerk of paperwork (see that- it rhymes).

The Menu

Because I was otherwise occupied, I didn't get a nice shot of the food tables before people dove in.  Hell, I didn't get a shot at all until the next day.  If any of you have a nice shot of the food tables or any other wedding pix, please do email them to us!  Anyway, the menu, as prepared almost single-handedly by the magical Miz Fannie was as follows (all finger foods/ hors d'oeuvres):

• Sausage and peppers in Sicilian gravy with rolls
• Pulled pork in pastry shells
• Mushrooms stuffed with bacon, feta, etc. drizzled with faux tahini sauce
• Bites of chicken breast- some in hickory smoked BBQ sauce and some in an amazing marmalade-ginger sauce
• Hard cheeses and soft cheeses with crackers
• Fruit platter
• Veggie platter with dips
• Relish tray with various pickles and dolma
• Cucumbers stuffed with a sour cream/ cream cheese/ dill filling (we forgot to put the smoked salmon on top!)
• Garlic melba toast topped with basil, mozzarella, tomatoes and balsamic vinagrette
• Shrimp cocktail (thanks, Dad!)

Needless to say, leftovers have been awesome all week!

Day 8: We Have Run Out of Things to Talk About

Kidding!  Actually, I think it was Thursday night... we were sitting on the couch and there was a nice lull of silence.  That's when one of us made a crack about running out of things to talk about already.  We haven't, but there's been less need to talk since the wedding because we aren't spending evenings planning it anymore (whew!).

On a slightly related note, here's a morning-after picture of the kitchen.  I wanna know two things:  Who drank my pineapple juice and what'd you mix it with?  I bet it was good!

Bachelorette Party!

We don't do things in order around here.  For instance, we went on our honeymoon six weeks before the wedding.  Yesterday, Teller and I headed for the coast.  Really we were just gonna do a run to New Hampshire for cheap cigarettes but why go all that way and not continue on to the beach?  So we dubbed it my after-the-fact bachelorette party and went for it.  And here I am at one of my most favorite places on the whole planet- Sandy Point on Plum Island, Massachusetts.  

We also stopped at the fish market and had them pack us some lobstahs on ice to bring home.  And we ate the best fish chowdah on the planet for dinner.  They sell it at the sleazy Keno bar in Salisbury.  We didn't get home till 2am.  I'm exhausted, but such a beautiful day and so worth it to spend the last lovely day of September on the beach at sunset.  Now it's gonna rain for four more fucking days.  Gonna go take some fake sun vitamin D and a nap now.

Lunchtime!

When we were planning the wedding and reception, I found a GREAT idea online (can't remember the source).  This woman said that in light of the fact that most wedding cakes suck, she decided to ask all of her close friends to bring a dessert to share instead.  Her idea was to have her dessert table look like a bakery window.  We loved her idea and put it into action.  

There was apple pie, lemon meringue pie, chocolate peanut butter cheesecake, a glazed pecan ring, s'mores Rice Krispies treats, regular s'mores fixin's and three tiers of chocolate zucchini cupcakes!  Oh, and we put out jars of candy as well.  If I forgot to mention anything, apologies.  At some point, all of it became a blur.  We absolutely loved the desserts (and the leftovers).  Feel free to steal the idea for your next shindig- twas awesome!

PS:  I don't know why the dolma and pickle platter ended up with the desserts!

Awesome Wedding Presents

My brother and his wife, obviously fellow dog people, stuck this in with the card they gave us.  Works awesome- my mister had to use it on Barney twice last night!

The Dreaded Tread Part Deux

Oh look!  It makes an awesome hanger for a soiled wedding dress!  (That's my grandmother's mink wrap next to it.  I was gonna put it to use if it got cold out but it didn't.  I never get a chance to wear it but I wouldn't trade the weather we got for anything.)

Centerpieces

We used apples, amaranth seeds, sparklers, extra candles, faux flowers, disposable cameras, and sparklers.  Oh, and some of them had weird shit like expired glow-in-the-dark condoms.  If one of those breaks, do you get a glow-in-the-dark baby?  Also, are you sick of wedding stuff yet?  Good, cuz I'm not either.

Bouquet of the Day

Love, and I forgot to wrap the stem in ribbon!

Kudos to my mister's sister for the picture.

The Set Up As Seen From Upstairs

So yeah, we got married in the fort- well, just in front of it.  Seems there was already a natural aisle leading to the fort.  On the right toward the back of the picture, you can see our neighbor's driveway.  The piper started from about halfway up there and then went past the pines and came around to the back of the seating area.  I didn't get to see that part but someone did get it on film for us, so maybe we'll post the video.  That's up to my mister since I dunno how to do it.   

I'ma Tell You Something Important

We got married on my mom's birthday.  She passed in 2004.  This was my way of having her "there".  I think she woulda loved my mister and I so wish she could have met him.  And this is Andrea, a piper who all but landed in my lap right after we chose a date for the ceremony.  She started things off by playing "Amazing Grace" in honor of my mother.  I was still in the house for that part, otherwise I would have fallen apart in front of everyone.  I love me some pipes and this was extra special.  After that, lest things get too solemn, she launched into "Scotland the Brave" for my mister's walk up the aisle and she played us back down the aisle at the end with a rousing medley.  She is an amazing young woman and if you're local and would like to hire her, I will give you her contact info.  Other than the vows themselves, this was our favorite part of the ceremony.

Surveying the Scene After the Fact

Barney doesn't like crowds.  He stayed out of sight until the last guest left.  We were so relieved to see him!  Here he is checking out the "chapel" the next day.  I think he approves.

PS:  Mucho thanks to Cottage Gardener for loaning us the fall decorations for our "altar".