Waiting to Mow

Not my mower, this is something Russian.

Mow the lawn today, good idea.  Oh wait, first I should get my phone so I can listen to stories while I mow.  (Time traveler pro-tip: Something kids today don't understand that kids in our day wouldn't have understood.)

Oh, I need new episodes, oh crap a bunch of old ones are on the phone, I'll just quick sync to iTunes so I can see which ones I've listened to, oh god, twenty minute backup, hmm might as well download these app updates too, oh look a horror podcast, that will get me through a whole mow.  Click click click.

Yay downloads finally done, sync again to push new podcasts to device, oh crap what are these warnings, new app updates not compatible with old phone operating system, /pathetic rage face/, but the new iOS will slow my old phone, Googling latest update, no it looks like they might have fixed it, okay, let's go ahead and install it, I need time to finish this blog entry anyway.

This is progress?  My lawn still ain't mowed!  Twenty three more minutes? Oh well, I guess I'll look at pictures of funny cats on the internet.  I miss being in control of my own media.  I used to drag and drop my stuff back and forth, and that was it.  I never asked anyone to take the file system away.

I was so excited...

about the previous post. See, I love the new Mac. The mister has converted me to all kinds of fancy stuff like Macs and Firefox (but not gmail yet). The only thing I didn't like about it was that the fonts were messed up in a game room I like. It wasn't that big of a deal since I've mostly been too busy lately to care, but my mister cares, so he fixed it for me last night. By the time he was done it was late and I was too tired to test run it.

So why am I not excited anymore? Well, it's 6:35 AM and I can't make the Mac in the office turn on. So I can't play games. Or even load pictures for blog posts. The mister won't be up for a while so I'm stuck using his laptop which is not configured for my games. Bah. I might have to actually be productive instead. In the morning. On a Sunday, no less. I reiterate: Bah.

PS: I just realized that I can't remember how to right click on his machine. I'm suddenly feeling sympathetic toward The Right Reverend. Maybe I should just crack a beer.

PSS: It's me, on the laptop, even though it says "Posted by Ink".

Techno Madness

So.....I go to the coffee machine this morning. Although I set it up the night before, no coffee. Nope, all I get is a flashing light saying I have to clean the damn thing. What the f***, get the manual, remove part 1 and 2, clean and reinsert. Do ya think that fixed it??? F*** no!! Shit, all I want is a cup of coffee and a smoke. F*** it, I'll have a beer instead, Why is the phone lite flashing...........Jesus, the phone isn't charging. Good, I didn't want to talk to anyone anyway. Sit down with my morning beer [6:30] and turn on the TV. Mother f***** thunderstorm and no reception from the dish. Ok, I'll get on the computer and go to porno land. At least I'll get rid of this stupid hard on. Crap. F***** dialup is taking forever. Ya know, I'm not gettin any younger here. Up the stairs to see [distressed damsel's name withheld]: "Get off me, Asshole." Buy a new phone this afternoon.......So complicated. I can't even get it outta the box. Go to Gmail tonight, 2 hours later, I finally get to write this because every little teenage asshole is on line, crying cus Michael the freak show Jackson died. I hate the techno world you guys have created. I want to bring back the good ole days....You know, hook up the horse to the old buckboard ............................................I'm going to bed. Mother fucker, What time is it? All the clocks are flashing 12:00.

Posted by guest blogger The Right Reverend

*ed note: The Right Reverend has a right foul mouth. I have tried to spare you the worst of it. Send any correspondence to brokenbarn@gmail.com and we will be happy to forward it to the Reverend.