Once Upon a Time...

I had a doll. She was called Bless You Baby Tenderlove. Here's one like her:

Note the nose holes. This doll didn't wet her pants after you gave her a bottle. Instead, the tubing went directly to her schnozz. You feed her, give her the Heimlich maneuver, and she "sneezes". That's right. Rivulets of snot would run down her face. She came with a little box of tissues. Also, unlike the doll in the pic, she came with a curly updo.

I was about six when I got this doll, and I could read. So I read the box. It said something like, "... and just like a real baby, never put her head under water!" I remember thinking, "I'm not stupid. This isn't a real baby." As anyone who's ever been a little girl knows, taking a bath with your dolls is big fun. So of course I brought my new doll along. AND I stuck her head under water.

Her curly updo failed. She ended up with hair like Don King. Worse still, her sneezer stopped working! She no longer emitted a cute little "achoo!" when you pushed on her stomach. Nope. She wheezed. She became Baby Chronic Asthmatic.

And that is The End of this sad, cautionary tale.

PS: Accessories did not include inhalers or oxygen tanks.