Thursday, June 30, 2011

Ask the Angry Gardener

Karen has another question (please read entire post before clicking on the video):

-karen. said...
why'd you put 'em next to your sex toys?

She is referring to the flowers in this picture.  Where to begin...

Dear Karen,
The objects in the picture are not, in fact, "sex toys".  They are, from left to right, electrical thingies, a Galileo thermometer, and a Wittnauer Humi-Therm.  Now I am no Dan Savage, but it sounds to me like you haven't been given "the talk".  

*Heavy non-sexual sigh*

I guess someone's got to do it.  Karen, if you insert the electrical thingies into any human orifice, they are liable to get lost.  That would result in a very embarassing extraction at your local ER.  As for the Wittnauer, anyone who can even imagine no less implement it as a sex toy is far more creative than I am or maybe just really into accuracy (it measures temperature and, ahem, humidity).

This brings us to the Galileo thermometer.  I suppose  I can imagine how you'd think it might be, shall we say, something else.  It is not, however, intended for that purpose.  I refer you to the above video.  If this is how it behaves in a microwave, well, I think you can draw your own conclusions.  I hope this has been a help to you.

The Angry Gardener

PS:  Is it just me or does it seem like Karen is going out of her way to incite my rage?! 
PSS:  We keep our sex toys in the oven drawer like everyone else, silly.

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