I have plans. I've been working on it for years so I should probably buy tickets more often than like once a year. The very first thing I'm going to do is get the best defense lawyer money can buy. I'm gonna need that after I do my Walmart work. It's not illegal to have ideas yet, is it? I'll only say that it involves super soakers and Christmas Eve. And a film crew. And a defense lawyer.
I also wanna procure every free piano listed on freecycle.org and craigslist and install them all over the yard like a flock of pink flamingos. There might be a zoning ordinance so again, I'll need that lawyer, if not for that then for the evening when I hire 40 pianists to come play all those out of tune mofos. How I lust for the red one (see pic- that really IS on craig's right now).
There's more, but I'm not awake enough to remember them all. Can you buy localized global warming? Cuz I want some of that too.
1 comment:
I am not crazier than a shithouse rat. I have VISION, man! Beats spending the money on golden toilet seats!
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