This is My Dad

He volunteers at a horse rescue.  Mostly he builds things and fixes stuff but he also spends time with the horses.  He brings them apples.

He helped to build all of these stalls and helped install all of the custom stall doors.  I think that's bad ass, especially since he's almost 79 years old.

He's redoing the siding on this section of the barn.

His car is full of tools and neat stuff from Tractor Supply.

Fixing a gate so that it will open in both directions.

Standing around doing nothing.  (Just kidding.  He's thinking and making decisions about how to fix stuff).

 

And here he is with the founder and owner of the rescue, Nanci.

He's been doing this for almost two years now and he's very involved.  I have gone with him a couple of times.  Wednesday I offered to go and got to help him with that gate.  Really I was on a stealth mission to get some good photos for this post, but the whole experience got me to thinking.  I really enjoyed being there, not because I'm some kind of horsey-girl.  I'm really not.  I enjoyed working with my hands and helping to build and learning stuff.  There is so much that he knows.  

When I was a little girl, you'd often find me in his woodshop in the cellar, sitting in the sawdust, watching and maybe using some small tool like a lathe.  He didn't teach me a lot back then.  I think gender stereotypes were so deeply ingrained in his generation that it didn't occur to him.  Years later, when I asked to use his jigsaw to do some intricate cutting, he started to explain to me how to do it.  I was all, "Dad, stand back.  I got this."  After I turned the machine off, he asked, "Where did you learn that?!"  Shop class.  In middle school I was bringing home my little projects and still it didn't occur to him to teach me stuff.  I didn't ask him to either.  13 year old girls don't want to hang out with their dads.

My mom was pretty traditional too.  She did "girl stuff" like cooking and going to church and having coffee klatches with her friends.  My dad and brothers did the cool stuff:  Building things, camping, fishing, hunting, sports.  I think I wanted to be a BOY when I grew up!  Their stuff just seemed so much more appealing but alas, I wasn't always included in those things.

Fast forward:  I am a 32 year old escapee from a human services career.  I keep reading the job listings in the paper hoping to find something different.  One day, I see an ad:  Carpenter's Helper.  No experience necessary.  Must have driver's license.  Hmmm, really?  Did I dare?  Was I allowed to try this?  My parents never told me I couldn't do boy stuff.  They just didn't encourage it.  

Well, I did try it.  Amazingly, or maybe not so much, I absolutely loved it.  I didn't tell my parents about my new job until I'd been at it for a few weeks because I was afraid I would fail.   They were both really proud of me!  I didn't fail.  I helped with siding, framing, roofing, plumbing, foundations- a bit of everything.  I was as good as the guys and better than some.  Apparently the industry is full of people who can't read rulers and are afraid of heights.  It's not enough to just be strong, dudes.  You gotta have a working brain too. 

Unfortunately, it only lasted three months.  The boss was a jerk so I quit.  Plus going at it full time took a toll on my smallish frame.  Sometimes my knees still hurt from hauling cinder block and shingles back then.  I guess it turned out for the best but I often miss it and I hate how much I've forgotten from lack of opportunity to use what I learned.  

Long story short:  Thanks, Dad, for giving me the chance to work with my hands again.  And for finally teaching me some stuff!  I'm proud of you.  Happy Father's Day.

PS:  As it turns out, I don't want to be a boy.  I just wanna do the cool stuff.