Ask the Angry Gardener

It seems while I've been busy weeding, taking pictures, making bouquets and generally minding my own business, my mail box has filled up.  With idiots.

Let's start with this one:

Dear Angry Gardener,  

You call THAT, "dressing it up??" Where the hell are the gnomes...or even a friggin' bird bath?? You really do need my input!
Sincerely,
SID LYON

This same "SID" also had this to say:

SID said...

I think you're angry because you have not used any lawn decorations that might cheer you up and make you smile. Your garden is very boring due to the lack of them. Take a tip from me...DRESS IT UP!!

 

Apparently SID thinks he or she should be the one dispensing advice around here.  The only problem with that, of course, is that this is my blog and my non-fucking-tacky-ass garden.  Nonetheless, we can't leave the trolls to just starve, can we?  That would be cruel.  Besides, I like to think I can be open-minded.  I can be, but that implies that I might be wrong about something.  And I'm not.  

 

Here you go, SID.  I got flocked by the American Cancer Society- a perfect opportunity to try your shitty ideas.

I tried to embrace the opportunity.

Feeding time with the native bird population.

Migratory formation.

But the locals got annoyed.

So I marched them into the woods.

The way was hot and humid, fraught with malaria.

Menacing little fuckers.

Even Monster turned up his nose at them.  Out they go.

I hope that answers your "question," SID.

PS:  This SID is not the same as this one:

Sid said... 

Hey,chill out,angry one !!!! 

Dear Not-All-Caps Sid,

You'd be angry too if you had to humor plastic lovers. 

PS:  Both the Angry Gardener and The Mister support The American Cancer Society and we absolutely loved getting "flocked".  Google "flocking" + your area to see if you can go flock yourself.  

 

PSS:  Please forgive horrid formatting.  Angry Gardener is angry with Blogger's formatting stuff. 

 

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