Saturday, February 16, 2008

These Dogs Are Assholes

I still don't have a puppy. The puppy people came for a home visit last night and brought these two with them. Do you think they're cute? Think again. They're assholes. Spotty dog cased the house non-stop the whole time she was here. She's billed as an Australian Shepherd. Just so you know, kids, rescue groups will call a dog any damned thing that sounds like it might be a breed, but I am no dog dumbass. Spotty dog is too small to be pure Aussie, plus has the coat and attitude of some evil, wire-haired terrier breed.

Black dog is billed as a retriever-spaniel mix. My ass. She had all the hallmarks of a block-headed lab mix. No brains. A follower. If she was one of the characters in Lord of the Flies, first she'd be manipulated into helping kill, then she'd be killed. This rescue group offers adoption clinics every Saturday at a local pet store. Now that my application is approved, I can go there any Saturday and come away with a puppy. Did I go today? No. As my daughter said, "Congratulations on getting approved for a second-hand dog". Maybe I'm a breedist, I don't know. All I know is I don't want an Asshole Dog. The quest continues.

PS: Barn E. Quat was present for this visit. I was sure he'd hide/ pout upstairs. Nope. He stayed on the back of the couch the whole time, observing the proceedings and sending Mister "How could you let it come to this?" looks the whole time. I have never seen more evocative looks from a cat in my life. It continued long after the pups left. He got two breakfasts today. "Retribution" Mister says.

1 comment:

clementine said...

actually, i believe what i said was "congratulations on being told you're good enough to get a secondhand puppy." and anyway, any puppy you can compare to a character from lord of the flies is not a puppy you want. they have mother issues. oedipal complexes and shit.