Thursday, February 14, 2008

It's Me Again on the Laptop (not Ink)

It's 8:23 and we're getting ready to watch "Lost". I know- it's Valentine's Day, but this is what we dig. Besides, Ink sent me 100 Peruvian lilies today :D 100. Nice! He rocks. (I got him a Ferrari.) Anyway, I got to thinking about how so many people and sites out there analyze "Lost" and I figured I got just as much right as anyone, man.

First, some background. I didn't start watching it till last year, mid-season. I liked the first episode which seemed pretty self-contained and friendly to someone like me who was jumping in all ignorant and whatnot. I have not since enjoyed it enough to research all the stuff I missed, so my "Lost" reviews will be from the perspective of, as the Buddhists say, beginner's mind.

Okay, so last week on "Lost": Or maybe it was the week before. Or maybe I'm having a flash forward. Whatever. Anyway, there was this Asian guy with a Dust Buster that apparently doubles as a Ghostbuster and helps him find money. Wtf? I don't consider myself an unimaginative person, but I have a Dust Buster and I'm not getting any of these side benefits. Anyway. He and his crew show up on the island, but not to save the lost people. But they might do that anyway.
And somewhere in all this, a woman who appears to be Scary Spice and died at least two weeks ago tells the scary black guy from some other drama on teevee that this crew is useless and no good and stuff. It's hard for me to take Scary Spice seriously. Oh wait- lemme ask my mister. Wtf is her name? Oh. It's Naomi, he says. Normally I'd say, "Well who cares at this point. She's dead, " and write her off. But I'm not allowed to do that with this show cuz she might show up any old time with a gun. Or a Dust Buster. Hmmmm.
Now what else happened? I'm trying to review fast here so I'll be ready for tonight's episode. I'm watching last week's episode on mute as I type since the words don't make any freakin' sense anyway. Oh. Here's the blonde chick that's part of the rescuing (NOT) crew. When they flashed back (or forward or sideways) to her, she was playing with polar bear bones at an archaeological dig in the desert somewhere. Now, I buy that polar bears could have lived there once. Maybe the Sahara was icy way back when. Maybe it will be again. But here's the bullshit part: Blonde Chick storms the site without permission and then starts chopping through the dirt like a jackhammer. Even I know that real archaeologists don't do that. They take tiny little paintbrushes and work on the same quarter inch square for six weeks at a pop. My conclusion: Blonde Chick is an archaeLOLogist. Gimme a feckin' break. Okay, I'm already starting to get annoyed and the show hasn't even started.

One last thing: The seemingly good guys were FINALLY all set to kill Ben who is definitely a bad guy. Guess what? They changed their minds again. But they killed Scary Spice. Where are the priorities, man? I think they should have gotten lost with Steven Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Stupid Lost People, aka, How I Got off the Island Fast Because These People Were Too Stupid to Live.

And another thing: Here's a link to someone who has a more scientific approach (obsessive).

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