Dear Becky,

You are a shit- sucking weasel.  

Sincerely,

The Angry Gardener

So here's the deal.  Occasionally I sell plant divisions via good ol' craigslist.  Most of the people I meet are awesome.  They are, after all, fellow gardeners.  But once in a while, I get a no-show.  I hate that shit.  Today, I was having a fine time visiting a friend.  I had to cut it short because I was expecting Becky here at 3 o'clock to buy plants.  Becky couldn't be bothered to show up.  That would be perfectly understandable if A) She's dead.  B) She had the courtesy to call or email and let me know she couldn't make it.  She did none of the those things to my knowledge.  (Perhaps she is dead.  How the hell would I know?) 

I have the plants priced well below retail.  I took the time to make an ad and follow up with phone calls to people who responded.  I rearranged my schedule to accommodate Becky.  I was ready and willing to dig in the pouring rain.  I hate you, Becky.*

*Again, I am too fucking polite, maybe even chicken, to email or call her and speak this frankly.  For now.  Don't be my no- show tipping point, k?  If you are, I will probably post your email address and phone number in the Rants and Raves section.  And I won't be raving.