Chipmunks are kinda cute. They don't bother me or my gardens as much as squirrels do. Their apartment complexes in the stone walls provide endless entertainment for Monster. And I love how they raise their little flag tails when crossing streets. But this is not cute:
In case you're wondering, he's not dead. I thought he might be. It was really hot out and I thought maybe he ate so much he couldn't fit his fat little ass back out of the hole. But no. He was frozen with fear due to my huge human eyes being level with his. I tilted the feeder and he bolted. What pisses me off the most is that he's not really eating. He's just stuffing his face and then storing the seeds where MY BIRDS can't get it. Fuck you, cutie.
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3 comments:
OMG! I am laughing my own hind end off. I actually don't use the F-word; however, I just read your post to my visiting company and we are cracking up. There are times when the F-word is just so funny and perfect. I teach Freshmen English at the University of Northern Colorado, and seriously I am trying to figure out how I can turn your post into a lesson. Probably won't, I am too straight laced to use such a word in my class, but there has to be some sort of writing lesson here. Just love this post!
I cuss like a sailor (gotta be me) but I never expected such high accolades from an English prof for it! Glad you and your guests enjoyed it! If I'm lucky, I get to meet Twain in the afterlife since he said, "If I cannot swear in heaven I shall not stay there."
I love Twain, too. Yes, you gotta be you and that's why I love your blog.
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